








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 142 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Faceit | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2311 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,615 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1731 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2421 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3416 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 2047 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,071,885 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jå9 | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | 𝓶𝓮𝓻𝓻𝔂 Texhilarated | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | eXICKED | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | kamelsvette | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | raaay | 3 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TatoH | 294 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | kamelsvette | 292 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | eXICKED | 280 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | 𝓶𝓮𝓻𝓻𝔂 Texhilarated | 248 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #5 | pun ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ | 167 | 0.11 | 5 min |





