








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 491 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 353 matches | ||
| Esplay | 33 matches | 2,112 | |
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4784 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,042 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2458 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2817 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4785 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 2982 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,867,494 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | Alfi | 50% | 36 |
| #17 | blenz | 49% | 37 |
| #18 | eple | 48% | 27 |
| #19 | HIPHOPPER | 48% | 23 |
| #20 | yeti | 44% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | torri | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | eXICKED | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | tobz | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | mA' | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | insi | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mA' | 261 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | TatoH | 242 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | zaK | 237 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | cpr | 226 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | tobz | 201 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HIPHOPPER | +2.62 | 92 | 57 |
| #2 | Rednas | +2.28 | 82 | 71 |
| #3 | tobz | +1.93 | 82 | 69 |
| #4 | cpr | +1.73 | 89 | 74 |
| #5 | pun ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ | +1.42 | 65 | 64 |





