








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 439 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 224 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3368 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,213 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1268 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2010 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2586 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 349 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,189,923 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 680 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Katernum | 49% | 93 |
| #2 | Soviet Waffles | 49% | 243 |
| #3 | Dzurek | 47% | 143 |
| #4 | -Shelter | 46% | 68 |
| #5 | it doesn't get better | 45% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soviet Waffles | +3.75 | 85 | 58 |
| #2 | FIVEHEAD | +2.99 | 86 | 56 |
| #3 | Idaho Paratrooper | +2.67 | 65 | 57 |
| #4 | it doesn't get better | +1.69 | 43 | 44 |
| #5 | Katernum | +1.20 | 58 | 52 |





