








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 547 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3020 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,114 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 852 | 17% |
| Smokes | 825 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2115 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 1322 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,368,228 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 224 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Β³ chππky bastard | 28 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Zorn1g | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | β₯ββββ§ #1noScope | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Β³ chππky bastard | 455 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | Zorn1g | 135 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #3 | β₯ββββ§ #1noScope | 111 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | Zivo46β’ | 80 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Kardu | 51 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zorn1g | +5.42 | 79 | 68 |
| #2 | Ottmann#Ozaki8 | +0.98 | 67 | 41 |
| #3 | Β³ chππky bastard | -0.28 | 50 | 63 |
| #4 | β₯ββββ§ #1noScope | -0.37 | 59 | 75 |
| #5 | Kardu | -0.75 | 61 | 49 |





