








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 724 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 459 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4620 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,915 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1449 | 12% |
| Smokes | 3438 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3626 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3402 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,990,212 of utility $246 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 447 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | ³ ch𝖊𝖊ky bastard | 50% | 360 |
| #10 | Ottmann#Ozaki8 | 47% | 74 |
| #11 | .#TašтY | 46% | 68 |
| #12 | ⓥⓔⓝⓔⓧ #1noScope | 43% | 149 |
| #13 | zinexinho | 42% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ³ ch𝖊𝖊ky bastard | 23 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Ottmann#Ozaki8 | 9 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | ⓥⓔⓝⓔⓧ #1noScope | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | |-|34|)$|-|[]']['™© | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | zinexinho | 7 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ³ ch𝖊𝖊ky bastard | 802 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #2 | ⓥⓔⓝⓔⓧ #1noScope | 694 | 0.22 | 18 min |
| #3 | zinexinho | 574 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #4 | |-|34|)$|-|[]']['™© | 504 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #5 | .#TašтY | 185 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .#TašтY | +1.76 | 73 | 76 |
| #2 | ca1im3ro™© | +1.03 | 79 | 59 |
| #3 | Ottmann#Ozaki8 | +1.02 | 66 | 38 |
| #4 | ⓥⓔⓝⓔⓧ #1noScope | +0.79 | 69 | 75 |
| #5 | |-|34|)$|-|[]']['™© | +0.66 | 58 | 69 |





