








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 146 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2331 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,964 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1535 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1766 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1952 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1711 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $437,617 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beastosoul | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | dp | 53% | 60 |
| #3 | Frank | 52% | 126 |
| #4 | flashnub~ | 43% | 23 |
| #5 | Dunkelmaster | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | dp | 53% | 60 |
| #3 | Frank | 52% | 126 |
| #4 | flashnub~ | 43% | 23 |
| #5 | Dunkelmaster | 36% | 25 |
| #6 | Shadow-Death (Sebi) | 34% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frank | 12 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | dp | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Shadow-Death (Sebi) | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | flashnub~ | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Beastosoul | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dp | 222 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | Frank | 183 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | Shadow-Death (Sebi) | 112 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Dunkelmaster | 65 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | flashnub~ | 61 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stayn | +3.06 | 84 | 61 |
| #2 | Beastosoul | +1.12 | 73 | 52 |
| #3 | flashnub~ | -0.20 | 78 | 56 |
| #4 | Frank | -0.33 | 64 | 58 |
| #5 | Dunkelmaster | -0.54 | 72 | 71 |





