








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1324 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 428 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 116 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7631 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,982 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9613 | 40% |
| Smokes | 6670 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6764 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 935 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,760,280 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2956 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flashnub~ | 31 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | Asuka Langley Sōryū xD | 16 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Dunkelmaster | 15 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | moni | rapor edildi | 9 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Frank | 9 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dunkelmaster | 979 | 0.15 | 26 min |
| #2 | flashnub~ | 670 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #3 | moni | rapor edildi | 482 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #4 | dominik | 256 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | Asuka Langley Sōryū xD | 246 | 0.08 | 5 min |





