








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1845 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 432 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 89 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7594 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,299 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8174 | 27% |
| Smokes | 7346 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 8049 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 6730 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,019,413 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 500 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Thomas the Dank Engine | 54% | 85 |
| #8 | ✪BiGGa | 53% | 87 |
| #9 | flashnub~ | 52% | 79 |
| #10 | Shadow-Death (Sebi) | 51% | 310 |
| #11 | Frank | 47% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shadow-Death (Sebi) | 15 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | flashnub~ | 8 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Thomas the Dank Engine | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Frank | 6 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | ✪BiGGa | 4 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shadow-Death (Sebi) | 821 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #2 | SkipZ | 390 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #3 | flashnub~ | 349 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #4 | aNtii #! 针对 | 275 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | Thomas the Dank Engine | 255 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dunkelmaster | +1.70 | 75 | 71 |
| #2 | flashnub~ | +1.18 | 80 | 55 |
| #3 | Asuka Langley Sōryū xD | +1.07 | 69 | 37 |
| #4 | ImSophie_ | +0.66 | 73 | 72 |
| #5 | aNtii #! 针对 | +0.42 | 64 | 72 |





