








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 453 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 300 matches | ||
| Premier | 221 matches | ||
| Wingman | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 175 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5537 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,969 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3632 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5189 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5824 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 4324 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,931,370 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 398 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kweik | 58% | 107 |
| #2 | chmielo' | 58% | 85 |
| #3 | F3AR | 56% | 153 |
| #4 | Chmielcik | 54% | 90 |
| #5 | DeSh | 54% | 376 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Rayan | 50% | 111 |
| #10 | mr.wtf?! | 50% | 155 |
| #11 | wineks | 49% | 78 |
| #12 | Simur | 46% | 48 |
| #13 | ignac8 | 42% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeSh | 6 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | MeganFox (.)(.) | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | F3AR | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Rayan | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | mr.wtf?! | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeSh | 586 | 0.07 | 18 min |
| #2 | Adobe Writer | 422 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | Matty^ | 415 | 0.05 | 13 min |
| #4 | chmielo' | 243 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | wineks | 226 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chmielo' | +2.43 | 71 | 72 |
| #2 | DeSh | +2.41 | 77 | 62 |
| #3 | F3AR | +1.57 | 74 | 46 |
| #4 | Matty^ | +1.26 | 73 | 65 |
| #5 | Chmielcik | +0.06 | 71 | 62 |





