








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 821 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 273 matches | ||
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Wingman | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6821 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,692 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3571 | 18% |
| Smokes | 5968 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6153 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 4000 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,068,635 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 174 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chmielcik | 59% | 64 |
| #2 | kweik | 57% | 127 |
| #3 | MeganFox (.)(.) | 55% | 116 |
| #4 | DeSh | 53% | 397 |
| #5 | JetLearner97806 | 53% | 428 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | F3AR | 51% | 165 |
| #7 | Adobe Writer | 50% | 235 |
| #8 | mr.wtf?! | 49% | 117 |
| #9 | Rayan | 46% | 120 |
| #10 | wineks | 43% | 199 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeSh | 7 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | F3AR | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | JetLearner97806 | 3 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | wineks | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | mr.wtf?! | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JetLearner97806 | 655 | 0.07 | 19 min |
| #2 | DeSh | 637 | 0.08 | 19 min |
| #3 | wineks | 553 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #4 | Adobe Writer | 471 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #5 | Rayan | 209 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeSh | +2.24 | 75 | 61 |
| #2 | Matty^ | +1.80 | 74 | 64 |
| #3 | F3AR | +0.93 | 73 | 45 |
| #4 | JetLearner97806 | -0.10 | 57 | 60 |
| #5 | Rayan | -0.31 | 72 | 53 |





