








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 97 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 84 matches | ||
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1387 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,050 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1017 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1077 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1221 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 735 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $867,583 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chmielo' | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Adobe Writer | 61% | 38 |
| #3 | Chmielcik | 60% | 57 |
| #4 | DeSh | 56% | 110 |
| #5 | ignac8 | 56% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Rayan | 52% | 44 |
| #9 | F3AR | 49% | 47 |
| #10 | mr.wtf?! | 48% | 64 |
| #11 | wineks | 47% | 15 |
| #12 | Simur | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeSh | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | mr.wtf?! | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Rayan | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | JetLearner97806 | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | F3AR | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JetLearner97806 | 243 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #2 | DeSh | 174 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | Chmielcik | 138 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Matty^ | 101 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | mr.wtf?! | 83 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chmielo' | +5.00 | 72 | 72 |
| #2 | DeSh | +2.91 | 77 | 62 |
| #3 | F3AR | +1.12 | 70 | 52 |
| #4 | Matty^ | +1.10 | 71 | 66 |
| #5 | Chmielcik | +0.08 | 73 | 61 |





