








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 127 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 151 matches | ||
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2028 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,281 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2819 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2784 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1814 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1864 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,098,490 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 134 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MeganFox (.)(.) | 61% | 38 |
| #2 | Chmielcik | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | kweik | 54% | 94 |
| #4 | JetLearner97806 | 54% | 220 |
| #5 | F3AR | 53% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | mr.wtf?! | 51% | 71 |
| #8 | Matty^ | 50% | 235 |
| #9 | Rayan | 43% | 35 |
| #10 | ignac8 | 41% | 34 |
| #11 | wineks | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeSh | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | MeganFox (.)(.) | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Matty^ | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #4 | JetLearner97806 | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #5 | F3AR | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeSh | 318 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #2 | JetLearner97806 | 313 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #3 | Matty^ | 246 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #4 | kweik | 102 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | mr.wtf?! | 87 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeSh | +2.23 | 75 | 60 |
| #2 | F3AR | +1.82 | 73 | 44 |
| #3 | Matty^ | +1.26 | 72 | 66 |
| #4 | Chmielcik | +0.45 | 65 | 56 |
| #5 | JetLearner97806 | +0.45 | 59 | 61 |





