








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 894 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 697 matches | ||
| Premier | 228 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10188 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,111 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3516 | 15% |
| Smokes | 6675 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6231 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 7689 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,653,110 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1601 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | TeaFy | 50% | 62 |
| #9 | styLe | 50% | 172 |
| #10 | ⛟ | 47% | 72 |
| #11 | Hamudi47 | 47% | 121 |
| #12 | FlintenUschi | 45% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nestoro | 21 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | eTernitY | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Shocky | 6 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Hamudi47 | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | FlintenUschi | 5 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nestoro | 4448 | 0.25 | 119 min |
| #2 | Shocky | 1407 | 0.14 | 40 min |
| #3 | peacor | 1378 | 0.19 | 36 min |
| #4 | eTernitY | 788 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #5 | styLe | 726 | 0.20 | 21 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JAYBE | +0.92 | 91 | 68 |
| #2 | eTernitY | +0.85 | 68 | 62 |
| #3 | Azpi | +0.84 | 74 | 48 |
| #4 | Shocky | +0.82 | 76 | 60 |
| #5 | TeaFy | +0.31 | 79 | 59 |





