








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 405 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 491 matches | ||
| Faceit | 215 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 80 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8089 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,202 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9044 | 26% |
| Smokes | 8179 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 9649 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 8330 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,134,128 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 144 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Shocky | 52% | 133 |
| #10 | Nestoro | 51% | 294 |
| #11 | wurstrolle | 51% | 69 |
| #12 | mvbaam | 44% | 50 |
| #13 | Starmone™ | 43% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nestoro | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | discochimp | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Leon. | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | wurstrolle | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Shocky | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nestoro | 1521 | 0.24 | 41 min |
| #2 | peacor | 453 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #3 | Shocky | 398 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #4 | Azpi | 248 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | styLe | 247 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eTernitY | +1.74 | 71 | 64 |
| #2 | FlintenUschi | +1.58 | 80 | 68 |
| #3 | JAYBE | +1.44 | 92 | 69 |
| #4 | Shocky | +1.10 | 78 | 60 |
| #5 | Azpi | +0.91 | 73 | 49 |





