








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 428 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1756 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,394 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2447 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1986 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1748 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1213 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $499,478 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pain béni | 53% | 117 |
| #2 | Ez | 50% | 82 |
| #3 | Crazy Secret Baron | 49% | 175 |
| #4 | pain brioché | 48% | 86 |
| #5 | VeAir | 36% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pain béni | 53% | 117 |
| #2 | Ez | 50% | 82 |
| #3 | Crazy Secret Baron | 49% | 175 |
| #4 | pain brioché | 48% | 86 |
| #5 | VeAir | 36% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pain béni | 12 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Crazy Secret Baron | 11 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | pain brioché | 10 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | VeAir | 9 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | Ez | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crazy Secret Baron | 493 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #2 | Pain béni | 440 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | VeAir | 295 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | pain brioché | 216 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Ez | 99 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crazy Secret Baron | +2.85 | 69 | 75 |
| #2 | Ez | +2.20 | 74 | 49 |
| #3 | Pain béni | -0.40 | 35 | 63 |
| #4 | pain brioché | -0.88 | 56 | 52 |
| #5 | Doums | -1.82 | 63 | 64 |





