








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 561 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 211 matches | ||
| Faceit | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4129 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,886 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2997 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2325 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 4271 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 3293 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $941,692 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 208 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ndrs | 56% | 257 |
| #2 | yallufa | 55% | 254 |
| #3 | DinoSo | 54% | 67 |
| #4 | KLPS | 53% | 190 |
| #5 | Gendro | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | DinoSo | 54% | 67 |
| #4 | KLPS | 53% | 190 |
| #5 | Gendro | 52% | 21 |
| #6 | sabotaaž Sumatra stiilis | 52% | 325 |
| #7 | rw | 48% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ndrs | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | sabotaaž Sumatra stiilis | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | yallufa | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | KLPS | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | rw | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ndrs | 1060 | 0.19 | 25 min |
| #2 | sabotaaž Sumatra stiilis | 421 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| #3 | yallufa | 373 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #4 | KLPS | 316 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #5 | DinoSo | 189 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | serp3x | +2.05 | 79 | 62 |
| #2 | yallufa | +0.73 | 86 | 58 |
| #3 | ndrs | -0.03 | 69 | 71 |
| #4 | DinoSo | -0.10 | 71 | 70 |
| #5 | rw | -0.25 | 80 | 68 |





