








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 302 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 211 matches | ||
| Faceit | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3845 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,476 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2573 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1583 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 3940 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 3380 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $974,324 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 157 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | serp3x | 55% | 254 |
| #2 | KLPS | 54% | 191 |
| #3 | DinoSo | 54% | 70 |
| #4 | rw | 54% | 108 |
| #5 | ndrs | 50% | 243 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sabotaaž Sumatra stiilis | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #2 | serp3x | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | KLPS | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | rw | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | ndrs | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ndrs | 1005 | 0.19 | 24 min |
| #2 | sabotaaž Sumatra stiilis | 369 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #3 | serp3x | 362 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | KLPS | 297 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #5 | DinoSo | 205 | 0.13 | 5 min |





