








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 357 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 270 matches | ||
| Faceit | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3589 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,402 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2362 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3737 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4187 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3116 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,069,631 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 396 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rw | 56% | 70 |
| #2 | yallufa | 54% | 191 |
| #3 | serp3x | 53% | 190 |
| #4 | Gendro | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | sabotaaž Sumatra stiilis | 50% | 228 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ndrs | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | yallufa | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | serp3x | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | DinoSo | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | sabotaaž Sumatra stiilis | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ndrs | 974 | 0.17 | 26 min |
| #2 | yallufa | 298 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #3 | sabotaaž Sumatra stiilis | 275 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | serp3x | 260 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | DinoSo | 210 | 0.12 | 6 min |





