








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 462 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 259 matches | ||
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3910 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,779 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5334 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5952 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3046 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4447 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,614,789 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 227 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cylock | 54% | 107 |
| #2 | gnad1.0 | 54% | 171 |
| #3 | Slane | 52% | 269 |
| #4 | Flo | 51% | 337 |
| #5 | Nils | 51% | 267 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | gnad1.0 | 54% | 171 |
| #3 | Slane | 52% | 269 |
| #4 | Flo | 51% | 337 |
| #5 | Nils | 51% | 267 |
| #6 | niklasf1 | 47% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flo | 11 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Nils | 11 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Slane | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | gnad1.0 | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | niklasf1 | 4 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slane | 1304 | 0.23 | 37 min |
| #2 | Flo | 1053 | 0.15 | 28 min |
| #3 | Nils | 619 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #4 | gnad1.0 | 585 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #5 | niklasf1 | 396 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nils | +1.13 | 82 | 65 |
| #2 | Flo | +0.93 | 69 | 65 |
| #3 | niklasf1 | +0.51 | 77 | 67 |
| #4 | Slane | +0.44 | 73 | 71 |
| #5 | Cylock | -0.01 | 57 | 63 |





