








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 291 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 144 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2004 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,954 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 980 | 20% |
| Smokes | 995 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1720 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1259 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $742,262 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 163 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | |Erico| | 71% | 55 |
| #2 | TrittærN | 67% | 64 |
| #3 | Pancakes | 67% | 66 |
| #4 | Roof | 65% | 108 |
| #5 | Løx | 63% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Roof | 65% | 108 |
| #5 | Løx | 63% | 91 |
| #6 | holky | 62% | 86 |
| #7 | Xreato | 50% | 16 |
| #8 | FragLoAF | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roof | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Løx | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Pancakes | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | FragLoAF | 2 | 0.0073 |
| #5 | holky | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roof | 609 | 0.25 | 18 min |
| #2 | Løx | 397 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #3 | Pancakes | 280 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | holky | 153 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | TrittærN | 145 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thias | +1.76 | 83 | 56 |
| #2 | holky | +1.04 | 79 | 54 |
| #3 | Xreato | +0.99 | 72 | 56 |
| #4 | Pancakes | +0.97 | 80 | 65 |
| #5 | FragLoAF | +0.53 | 75 | 68 |





