








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 681 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 154 matches | ||
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3064 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,509 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1893 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2594 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2081 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1941 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,253,532 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | |Erico| | 74% | 50 |
| #2 | Roof | 72% | 98 |
| #3 | Xreato | 71% | 24 |
| #4 | Pancakes | 69% | 35 |
| #5 | thias | 67% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Coach | 57% | 21 |
| #10 | MotionOfOceanMichaelGaveMeAids | 57% | 104 |
| #11 | R2D2 | 56% | 27 |
| #12 | TheGamingKosoll | 55% | 22 |
| #13 | THE DØØR | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MotionOfOceanMichaelGaveMeAids | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Aquaman | 6 | 0.0180 |
| #3 | TheGamingKosoll | 4 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | R2D2 | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Løx | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roof | 555 | 0.25 | 15 min |
| #2 | Løx | 372 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #3 | Pancakes | 186 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | |Erico| | 135 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | thias | 131 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pancakes | +2.31 | 81 | 65 |
| #2 | TrittærN | +1.99 | 77 | 55 |
| #3 | holky | +1.88 | 80 | 59 |
| #4 | Løx | +1.62 | 82 | 72 |
| #5 | thias | +1.61 | 82 | 57 |





