








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 389 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 118 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1302 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,017 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 736 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1090 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1462 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1729 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $535,145 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 928 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TrittærN | 65% | 46 |
| #2 | |Erico| | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | Pancakes | 63% | 62 |
| #4 | thias | 62% | 86 |
| #5 | Roof | 60% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Roof | 60% | 100 |
| #6 | Løx | 59% | 82 |
| #7 | FragLoAF | 53% | 17 |
| #8 | Xreato | 50% | 12 |
| #9 | n00bツ | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thias | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | FragLoAF | 2 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Roof | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Pancakes | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roof | 545 | 0.25 | 16 min |
| #2 | Løx | 363 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #3 | Pancakes | 225 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | thias | 170 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | TrittærN | 107 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holky | +1.46 | 80 | 56 |
| #2 | thias | +0.99 | 85 | 57 |
| #3 | Pancakes | +0.79 | 77 | 66 |
| #4 | Løx | +0.53 | 81 | 71 |
| #5 | Xreato | +0.34 | 75 | 52 |





