








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 311 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 186 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1988 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,335 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2688 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2377 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2185 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2085 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $545,133 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 196 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | |Erico| | 68% | 57 |
| #2 | FragLoAF | 67% | 30 |
| #3 | TrittærN | 65% | 93 |
| #4 | Pancakes | 63% | 78 |
| #5 | thias | 63% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | TrittærN | 65% | 93 |
| #4 | Pancakes | 63% | 78 |
| #5 | thias | 63% | 91 |
| #6 | Roof | 61% | 127 |
| #7 | holky | 59% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roof | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Pancakes | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | FragLoAF | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | thias | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roof | 674 | 0.24 | 20 min |
| #2 | Pancakes | 337 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | TrittærN | 211 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | thias | 178 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | |Erico| | 147 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thias | +1.97 | 82 | 56 |
| #2 | Pancakes | +1.72 | 79 | 63 |
| #3 | Løx | +1.40 | 81 | 70 |
| #4 | Roof | +0.60 | 76 | 73 |
| #5 | FragLoAF | +0.42 | 80 | 54 |





