








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 71 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1255 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,455 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1109 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1471 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 951 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 924 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $385,707 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 133 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hairy | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | vin | 71% | 14 |
| #3 | mike | 63% | 38 |
| #4 | hU$TLA | 62% | 37 |
| #5 | krnramen | 62% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | EXYTRAL | 61% | 38 |
| #8 | b | 59% | 34 |
| #9 | tuna | 56% | 16 |
| #10 | Pedro de Pacas | 52% | 21 |
| #11 | brandon | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tuna | 6 | 0.0179 |
| #2 | RICHHHH | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | vin | 3 | 0.0105 |
| #4 | krnramen | 2 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | mike | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mike | 234 | 0.29 | 4 min |
| #2 | EXYTRAL | 214 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| #3 | RICHHHH | 131 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | b | 97 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | hU$TLA | 95 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vin | +2.99 | 76 | 66 |
| #2 | lil gup | +2.19 | 69 | 67 |
| #3 | RICHHHH | +2.04 | 65 | 56 |
| #4 | Hairy | +1.57 | 65 | 51 |
| #5 | Pedro de Pacas | +1.51 | 69 | 53 |





