








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 238 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1887 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,475 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2090 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2251 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2268 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1866 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $627,159 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dK_ | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | elusive | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | mega | 69% | 16 |
| #4 | andrewww | 67% | 15 |
| #5 | wonderPhu | 64% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RICHHHH | 12 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | lil gup | 5 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | hU$TLA | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | mi dang | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | sheenmachine | 3 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EXYTRAL | 438 | 0.25 | 10 min |
| #2 | RICHHHH | 403 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #3 | hU$TLA | 372 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #4 | mi dang | 234 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | sheenmachine | 186 | 0.38 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | guBs | +1.81 | 86 | 63 |
| #2 | elusive | +1.79 | 73 | 80 |
| #3 | RICHHHH | +1.28 | 62 | 56 |
| #4 | dK_ | +1.15 | 85 | 71 |
| #5 | mi dang | +0.76 | 60 | 67 |





