








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 311 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 205 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2110 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,422 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2648 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2250 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1740 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1784 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,123,708 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 157 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lil gup | 62% | 37 |
| #2 | EXYTRAL | 56% | 117 |
| #3 | RICHHHH | 50% | 129 |
| #4 | wonderPhu | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | b | 50% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | jOHNNY | 46% | 65 |
| #8 | mi dang | 45% | 56 |
| #9 | guBs | 39% | 18 |
| #10 | Gazoon | 38% | 24 |
| #11 | sheenmachine | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RICHHHH | 11 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | b | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | mi dang | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | lil gup | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | jOHNNY | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EXYTRAL | 657 | 0.26 | 16 min |
| #2 | b | 445 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #3 | RICHHHH | 401 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #4 | jOHNNY | 266 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #5 | mi dang | 207 | 0.17 | 5 min |





