








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 245 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 303 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2340 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,330 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2652 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3753 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2305 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2620 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,229,065 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 121 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lil gup | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | tuna | 52% | 75 |
| #3 | Pedro de Pacas | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | sheenmachine | 50% | 68 |
| #5 | mike | 49% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Pedro de Pacas | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | sheenmachine | 50% | 68 |
| #5 | mike | 49% | 98 |
| #6 | vin | 48% | 122 |
| #7 | Hairy | 44% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tuna | 16 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | sheenmachine | 15 | 0.0103 |
| #3 | vin | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | mike | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Hairy | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mike | 448 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #2 | sheenmachine | 389 | 0.27 | 12 min |
| #3 | vin | 357 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #4 | tuna | 129 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Pedro de Pacas | 87 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lil gup | +3.57 | 70 | 62 |
| #2 | sheenmachine | +3.37 | 81 | 74 |
| #3 | vin | +3.17 | 76 | 66 |
| #4 | tuna | +0.62 | 73 | 47 |
| #5 | Pedro de Pacas | +0.31 | 68 | 43 |





