








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2050 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 423 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 95 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7228 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,278 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10668 | 29% |
| Smokes | 10266 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 8642 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7702 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,873,073 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1608 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kyrox | 80% | 76 |
| #2 | madb0y_ | 80% | 81 |
| #3 | ^hNe | 69% | 49 |
| #4 | inViii ^.- | 67% | 79 |
| #5 | Jymm! ◉ ͟ʖ ◉ | 64% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | TPS | 58% | 55 |
| #8 | .Darioush`-´ | 57% | 159 |
| #9 | Jörn ⛟ | 57% | 280 |
| #10 | GMbo | 53% | 57 |
| #11 | Ryaxx | 47% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jörn ⛟ | 17 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | .Darioush`-´ | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | madb0y_ | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | kyrox | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | ^hNe | 4 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jörn ⛟ | 693 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #2 | .Darioush`-´ | 456 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #3 | kyrox | 390 | 0.28 | 12 min |
| #4 | Ryaxx | 342 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #5 | inViii ^.- | 258 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^hNe | +2.82 | 84 | 58 |
| #2 | kyrox | +2.69 | 85 | 77 |
| #3 | madb0y_ | +1.82 | 86 | 71 |
| #4 | Jörn ⛟ | +1.47 | 76 | 63 |
| #5 | neoN ⛴ | +1.31 | 72 | 79 |





