








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
210 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 399 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 189 | 47% |
| Smokes | 64 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 93 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 53 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $129,300 of utility $262 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | De Zeewier Snuivende Zeekoe | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | BliksemBliksemBoeman | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | 狗石丹 | 100% | 3 |
| #4 | Guido | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | Hermietkreeft 🦀 | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mazerfaker men( | 9 | 0.0257 |
| #2 | Guido | 2 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | Levai | 1 | 0.0263 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | De Zeewier Snuivende Zeekoe | +10.14 | 64 | 10 |
| #2 | 狗石丹 | +5.02 | 59 | 39 |
| #3 | FlawLeSS | +2.18 | 70 | 51 |
| #4 | Hermietkreeft 🦀 | +0.93 | 97 | 65 |
| #5 | mazerfaker men( | -0.95 | 66 | 61 |





