










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 651 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 322 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3435 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,660 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2066 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2057 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1959 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1578 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,016,596 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 262 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Vader | 36% | 56 |
| #2 | KDsBurner | 33% | 88 |
| #3 | Weezy | 33% | 79 |
| #4 | XrobocurlZx | 31% | 32 |
| #5 | UNCLE NOOOO | 31% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Vader | 36% | 56 |
| #2 | KDsBurner | 33% | 88 |
| #3 | Weezy | 33% | 79 |
| #4 | XrobocurlZx | 31% | 32 |
| #5 | UNCLE NOOOO | 31% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UNCLE NOOOO | 15 | 0.0182 |
| #2 | Weezy | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Lord Vader | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | KDsBurner | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | XrobocurlZx | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weezy | 371 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #2 | Lord Vader | 212 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | KDsBurner | 133 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | UNCLE NOOOO | 132 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | XrobocurlZx | 63 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UNCLE NOOOO | +3.79 | 86 | 51 |
| #2 | Lord Vader | +2.68 | 61 | 60 |
| #3 | CEOofCocaine | -0.20 | 71 | 58 |
| #4 | Weezy | -1.88 | 46 | 72 |
| #5 | XrobocurlZx | -2.36 | 37 | 59 |





