








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1182 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 271 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




84 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3644 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,279 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 764 | 12% |
| Smokes | 2253 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1422 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1840 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,186,346 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1969 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Froto | 49% | 137 |
| #7 | DagZFG | 48% | 27 |
| #8 | gabriiel40 | 46% | 83 |
| #9 | Ruev | 44% | 25 |
| #10 | Wumbology101 | 44% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coochie | 39 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | Froto | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | gabriiel40 | 7 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Ruev | 5 | 0.0097 |
| #5 | Wumbology101 | 4 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coochie | 273 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | gabriiel40 | 180 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Froto | 147 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Wumbology101 | 58 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | DagZFG | 57 | 0.10 | 1 min |





