










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 864 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 170 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4757 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,029 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4937 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5356 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3255 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2481 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,124,847 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1654 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KelRoy | 66% | 32 |
| #2 | 2Goldfish | 62% | 53 |
| #3 | truck | 58% | 106 |
| #4 | βͺ AwesomeMasterShooter βͺ | 57% | 96 |
| #5 | JamesBond | 57% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | ππΎπππ΄π²π΅π΅ | 50% | 58 |
| #12 | Bladesway | 49% | 49 |
| #13 | Asura | 49% | 101 |
| #14 | Sam | 43% | 28 |
| #15 | Cozy | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sam | 11 | 0.0172 |
| #2 | ππΎπππ΄π²π΅π΅ | 10 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | βͺ AwesomeMasterShooter βͺ | 9 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | N64Toad | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | KelRoy | 7 | 0.0102 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2Goldfish | 309 | 0.30 | 8 min |
| #2 | Asura | 236 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | N64Toad | 221 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | βͺ AwesomeMasterShooter βͺ | 220 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | ππΎπππ΄π²π΅π΅ | 214 | 0.17 | 6 min |





