








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1599 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 208 matches | ||
| Premier | 200 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 146 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7302 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,269 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7477 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5845 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6819 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4128 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,835,787 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1175 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L3monlime | 74% | 50 |
| #2 | Yu Mei | 69% | 89 |
| #3 | Elon Musque (Taylor's Version) | 57% | 42 |
| #4 | fabooJACK | 56% | 113 |
| #5 | Shretla | 55% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | fabooJACK | 56% | 113 |
| #5 | Shretla | 55% | 42 |
| #6 | ethical bum sniffer | 54% | 81 |
| #7 | WildFire | 53% | 47 |
| #8 | Ray White - The Problem | 47% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yu Mei | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | L3monlime | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Shretla | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | ethical bum sniffer | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Ray White - The Problem | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fabooJACK | 594 | 0.25 | 16 min |
| #2 | Yu Mei | 245 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | ethical bum sniffer | 166 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | WildFire | 157 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | Shretla | 90 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L3monlime | +5.70 | 86 | 73 |
| #2 | Ben246813 | +2.87 | 81 | 64 |
| #3 | Yu Mei | +0.92 | 72 | 74 |
| #4 | ethical bum sniffer | -0.38 | 58 | 69 |
| #5 | fabooJACK | -0.52 | 59 | 79 |





