








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 309 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2859 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,521 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5735 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5841 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3394 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4551 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $646,902 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 173 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ben246813 | 56% | 113 |
| #2 | Cheery | 53% | 43 |
| #3 | cap is dead | 48% | 48 |
| #4 | Tarq | 46% | 41 |
| #5 | You're my friend. | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Cheery | 53% | 43 |
| #3 | cap is dead | 48% | 48 |
| #4 | Tarq | 46% | 41 |
| #5 | You're my friend. | 45% | 20 |
| #6 | Nylocas Matomenos | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheery | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | You're my friend. | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ben246813 | 251 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | cap is dead | 146 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | Cheery | 124 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | You're my friend. | 63 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Tarq | 62 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ben246813 | +2.59 | 83 | 66 |
| #2 | You're my friend. | +0.32 | 56 | 54 |
| #3 | Cheery | +0.24 | 79 | 58 |
| #4 | cap is dead | +0.23 | 61 | 63 |
| #5 | fabooJACK | -0.12 | 60 | 76 |





