








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 126 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 139 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2653 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,432 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2487 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3324 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3384 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3237 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $556,469 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scar | 58% | 132 |
| #2 | Ruchy | 58% | 66 |
| #3 | tehk_ | 57% | 125 |
| #4 | hart | 57% | 92 |
| #5 | Kōrīhowaitohausu de chō taihen! | 56% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scar | 9 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Kōrīhowaitohausu de chō taihen! | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | donut appreciator | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | hart | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | joosh | 4 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tehk_ | 485 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #2 | donut appreciator | 244 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | scar | 235 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Ruchy | 198 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | joosh | 168 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tehk_ | +2.58 | 85 | 63 |
| #2 | Ruchy | +1.32 | 79 | 64 |
| #3 | Kōrīhowaitohausu de chō taihen! | +1.22 | 83 | 49 |
| #4 | Hangman | +1.13 | 74 | 69 |
| #5 | joosh | +0.19 | 64 | 46 |





