








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 622 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 458 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6064 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,115 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3954 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4749 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5348 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4064 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,219,716 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wolppi | 59% | 49 |
| #2 | cuba | 55% | 208 |
| #3 | stube | 53% | 43 |
| #4 | Piksu ☁ | 53% | 286 |
| #5 | Vargauz* | 51% | 340 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | stube | 53% | 43 |
| #4 | Piksu ☁ | 53% | 286 |
| #5 | Vargauz* | 51% | 340 |
| #6 | otsku | 50% | 164 |
| #7 | Tepi | 49% | 470 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tepi | 33 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Piksu ☁ | 31 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Vargauz* | 25 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | otsku | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | cuba | 4 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Piksu ☁ | 1038 | 0.18 | 25 min |
| #2 | Tepi | 977 | 0.10 | 22 min |
| #3 | cuba | 784 | 0.18 | 24 min |
| #4 | Vargauz* | 399 | 0.05 | 10 min |
| #5 | otsku | 242 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vargauz* | +2.95 | 77 | 60 |
| #2 | cuba | +2.05 | 79 | 67 |
| #3 | wolppi | +1.95 | 74 | 42 |
| #4 | wegee | -0.29 | 46 | 62 |
| #5 | otsku | -0.67 | 57 | 50 |





