








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 276 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September






The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 251 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 62 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2657 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,772 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5752 | 59% |
| Smokes | 1259 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 2155 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 606 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $222,791 of utility $26 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1324 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wolppi | 54% | 24 |
| #2 | cuba | 53% | 154 |
| #3 | Vargauz* | 53% | 219 |
| #4 | wegee | 53% | 286 |
| #5 | stube | 52% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Vargauz* | 53% | 219 |
| #4 | wegee | 53% | 286 |
| #5 | stube | 52% | 29 |
| #6 | Tepi | 49% | 385 |
| #7 | otsku | 49% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tepi | 53 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Vargauz* | 22 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | wegee | 14 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | cuba | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | otsku | 4 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tepi | 837 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #2 | cuba | 665 | 0.21 | 20 min |
| #3 | wegee | 591 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #4 | Vargauz* | 303 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #5 | otsku | 157 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vargauz* | +3.04 | 75 | 63 |
| #2 | wolppi | +2.26 | 75 | 31 |
| #3 | cuba | +2.25 | 79 | 65 |
| #4 | otsku | +0.52 | 64 | 51 |
| #5 | stube | +0.17 | 62 | 54 |





