








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 208 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 291 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3516 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,992 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3682 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2558 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3175 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2577 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $870,427 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stube | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | Vargauz* | 56% | 201 |
| #3 | wegee | 55% | 208 |
| #4 | Tepi | 54% | 249 |
| #5 | Piksu ☁ | 53% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Tepi | 54% | 249 |
| #5 | Piksu ☁ | 53% | 154 |
| #6 | otsku | 50% | 52 |
| #7 | wolppi | 48% | 25 |
| #8 | 4 AVG FRAGS WARLORD | 44% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tepi | 18 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Vargauz* | 13 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Piksu ☁ | 12 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | 4 AVG FRAGS WARLORD | 10 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | wegee | 5 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Piksu ☁ | 566 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #2 | Tepi | 477 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #3 | wegee | 368 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | Vargauz* | 241 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #5 | 4 AVG FRAGS WARLORD | 79 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vargauz* | +2.93 | 78 | 59 |
| #2 | cuba | +1.59 | 79 | 64 |
| #3 | wolppi | +1.37 | 71 | 34 |
| #4 | wegee | -0.39 | 45 | 62 |
| #5 | Piksu ☁ | -1.21 | 51 | 59 |





