








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 72 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 44 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
631 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,479 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 771 | 31% |
| Smokes | 561 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 589 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 558 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $170,937 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shifty | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Bondi | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | Pfeifer | 44% | 9 |
| #4 | mdLLLLL | 40% | 10 |
| #5 | kenzwoo | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Pfeifer | 44% | 9 |
| #4 | mdLLLLL | 40% | 10 |
| #5 | kenzwoo | 38% | 8 |
| #6 | SWEARINGJONNY | 33% | 15 |
| #7 | yob | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pfeifer | 1 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SWEARINGJONNY | 42 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | Pfeifer | 38 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | yob | 36 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | kenzwoo | 25 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | mdLLLLL | 22 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shifty | +1.65 | 58 | 55 |
| #2 | Pfeifer | +1.40 | 94 | 46 |
| #3 | SWEARINGJONNY | +0.90 | 88 | 74 |
| #4 | Bondi | +0.80 | 84 | 69 |
| #5 | w0nder | +0.46 | 75 | 62 |





