








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 517 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 415 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4484 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,661 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4039 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5208 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4924 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4490 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,094,252 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 136 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | costerfunk | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | Tread | 59% | 32 |
| #3 | romeo | 57% | 47 |
| #4 | Cereal Killa | 57% | 44 |
| #5 | kenzwoo | 57% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Cereal Killa | 57% | 44 |
| #5 | kenzwoo | 57% | 76 |
| #6 | mythii | 53% | 30 |
| #7 | SWEARINGJONNY | 48% | 379 |
| #8 | rolybee | 43% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SWEARINGJONNY | 3 | 0.0004 |
| #2 | mythii | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | romeo | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | costerfunk | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Tread | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SWEARINGJONNY | 1317 | 0.16 | 36 min |
| #2 | kenzwoo | 288 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | mythii | 164 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #4 | Tread | 121 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | romeo | 117 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | costerfunk | +1.94 | 84 | 64 |
| #2 | kenzwoo | +1.69 | 79 | 63 |
| #3 | SWEARINGJONNY | +1.66 | 89 | 71 |
| #4 | yob | +1.07 | 80 | 63 |
| #5 | Cereal Killa | +0.82 | 66 | 57 |





