








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 616 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 344 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5907 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,665 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3836 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2997 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2342 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2490 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,427,154 of utility $227 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1608 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nakes | 65% | 225 |
| #2 | Lisan Al Gaib | 64% | 36 |
| #3 | dave | 61% | 300 |
| #4 | Bubbles | 52% | 50 |
| #5 | spud | 48% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Lisan Al Gaib | 64% | 36 |
| #3 | dave | 61% | 300 |
| #4 | Bubbles | 52% | 50 |
| #5 | spud | 48% | 29 |
| #6 | munch | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nakes | 20 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | munch | 8 | 0.0131 |
| #3 | dave | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Lisan Al Gaib | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Bubbles | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nakes | 573 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #2 | dave | 293 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #3 | Lisan Al Gaib | 91 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Bubbles | 90 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | spud | 69 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nakes | +2.12 | 71 | 57 |
| #2 | EBLATTANT | +2.08 | 85 | 57 |
| #3 | Bubbles | +1.57 | 66 | 58 |
| #4 | Lisan Al Gaib | +1.11 | 64 | 55 |
| #5 | munch | +0.30 | 99 | 26 |





