








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 746 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1197 matches | ||
| Faceit | 195 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
17307 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,264 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4470 | 16% |
| Smokes | 5929 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 10293 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 7572 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $6,092,657 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1056 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EBLATTANT | 61% | 300 |
| #2 | Nakes | 57% | 969 |
| #3 | Bubbles | 57% | 217 |
| #4 | Kid1Tap | 55% | 98 |
| #5 | Lisan Al Gaib | 51% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Bubbles | 57% | 217 |
| #4 | Kid1Tap | 55% | 98 |
| #5 | Lisan Al Gaib | 51% | 97 |
| #6 | spud | 50% | 150 |
| #7 | bel | 47% | 339 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nakes | 59 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | EBLATTANT | 22 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | bel | 15 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Bubbles | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Lisan Al Gaib | 4 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nakes | 2085 | 0.10 | 52 min |
| #2 | EBLATTANT | 881 | 0.14 | 24 min |
| #3 | Bubbles | 499 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #4 | spud | 460 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #5 | bel | 309 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bubbles | +2.26 | 81 | 57 |
| #2 | Nakes | +2.16 | 72 | 58 |
| #3 | EBLATTANT | +2.12 | 86 | 57 |
| #4 | Lisan Al Gaib | +1.26 | 64 | 54 |
| #5 | Kid1Tap | +1.20 | 69 | 59 |





