








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 818 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 764 matches | ||
| Faceit | 161 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13901 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,734 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6814 | 25% |
| Smokes | 8804 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 6480 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5636 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,200,435 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2658 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EBLATTANT | 65% | 225 |
| #2 | Bubbles | 58% | 92 |
| #3 | dave | 57% | 969 |
| #4 | Lisan Al Gaib | 55% | 69 |
| #5 | Kid1Tap | 54% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | dave | 57% | 969 |
| #4 | Lisan Al Gaib | 55% | 69 |
| #5 | Kid1Tap | 54% | 79 |
| #6 | bel | 52% | 185 |
| #7 | spud | 50% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EBLATTANT | 19 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | dave | 15 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | bel | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Bubbles | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Lisan Al Gaib | 4 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dave | 989 | 0.05 | 26 min |
| #2 | EBLATTANT | 690 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #3 | spud | 382 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #4 | Bubbles | 217 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Lisan Al Gaib | 186 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bubbles | +2.70 | 90 | 57 |
| #2 | Nakes | +2.38 | 72 | 58 |
| #3 | EBLATTANT | +2.26 | 86 | 57 |
| #4 | Lisan Al Gaib | +1.27 | 65 | 57 |
| #5 | Kid1Tap | +1.18 | 69 | 57 |





