








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
223 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 588 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 122 | 21% |
| Smokes | 141 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 128 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 197 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $68,024 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CPU Cooler | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | EindeutigDaniel.D5 | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | Dark Dog | 86% | 7 |
| #4 | tby | 65% | 17 |
| #5 | Strypex | 65% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Strypex | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Fortus | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Tyln ⇄ TRADING | 1 | 0.0103 |
| #4 | Axoul | 1 | 0.0208 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Strypex | 51 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #2 | tby | 21 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #3 | Dark Dog | 19 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Fortus | 15 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Tyln ⇄ TRADING | 7 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CPU Cooler | +10.53 | 61 | 34 |
| #2 | EindeutigDaniel.D5 | +3.81 | 50 | 45 |
| #3 | Axoul | +3.13 | 65 | 29 |
| #4 | Fortus | +2.69 | 67 | 49 |
| #5 | tby | +1.97 | 71 | 58 |





