








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 992 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 508 matches | ||
| Premier | 243 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10722 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,328 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8215 | 24% |
| Smokes | 9448 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 7158 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 9507 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,758,443 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 935 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | President Dick Wrinkle | 55% | 92 |
| #2 | JJ | 52% | 369 |
| #3 | TumuIt | 51% | 348 |
| #4 | Crev | 51% | 336 |
| #5 | KC | 50% | 394 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | President Dick Wrinkle | 55% | 92 |
| #2 | JJ | 52% | 369 |
| #3 | TumuIt | 51% | 348 |
| #4 | Crev | 51% | 336 |
| #5 | KC | 50% | 394 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KC | 24 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | JJ | 22 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Crev | 12 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | President Dick Wrinkle | 9 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | TumuIt | 5 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KC | 1589 | 0.18 | 39 min |
| #2 | Crev | 882 | 0.12 | 23 min |
| #3 | TumuIt | 703 | 0.09 | 18 min |
| #4 | JJ | 620 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #5 | President Dick Wrinkle | 169 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | President Dick Wrinkle | +1.54 | 79 | 57 |
| #2 | Toucan | +1.16 | 74 | 62 |
| #3 | JJ | +0.90 | 65 | 57 |
| #4 | KC | +0.78 | 69 | 69 |
| #5 | Crev | -0.02 | 56 | 65 |





