








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 707 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 420 matches | ||
| Premier | 208 matches | ||
| Wingman | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8553 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,164 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8274 | 27% |
| Smokes | 8451 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 8923 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5516 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,012,348 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 985 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s0KA | 60% | 117 |
| #2 | JJ | 53% | 434 |
| #3 | KC | 53% | 485 |
| #4 | TumuIt | 52% | 320 |
| #5 | Toucan | 51% | 336 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KC | 50 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | JJ | 39 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | s0KA | 12 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | TumuIt | 10 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Toucan | 8 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KC | 1988 | 0.19 | 48 min |
| #2 | JJ | 776 | 0.08 | 19 min |
| #3 | Toucan | 652 | 0.09 | 17 min |
| #4 | TumuIt | 625 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #5 | s0KA | 136 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KC | +1.43 | 69 | 69 |
| #2 | s0KA | +1.23 | 73 | 45 |
| #3 | Crev | +0.93 | 63 | 65 |
| #4 | JJ | +0.86 | 66 | 57 |
| #5 | Toucan | +0.57 | 71 | 61 |





