








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 750 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3120 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,496 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2401 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3333 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2426 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2336 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $784,895 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 212 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jilley | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | ARandomNola | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | Toucan | 55% | 92 |
| #4 | Maymay | 55% | 31 |
| #5 | Notre_ | 55% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Notre_ | 55% | 55 |
| #6 | Happenis | 52% | 21 |
| #7 | ttv: OneLargePigeon | 50% | 28 |
| #8 | Lexx | 47% | 19 |
| #9 | TopDogBaby | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toucan | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Happenis | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Notre_ | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | ttv: OneLargePigeon | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Maymay | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toucan | 194 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | Notre_ | 112 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | ttv: OneLargePigeon | 106 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | Lexx | 102 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #5 | Maymay | 67 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | President Dick Wrinkle | +4.06 | 82 | 59 |
| #2 | Toucan | +2.17 | 75 | 64 |
| #3 | ttv: OneLargePigeon | +0.74 | 63 | 56 |
| #4 | Jilley | -1.11 | 50 | 33 |
| #5 | Happenis | -1.37 | 48 | 45 |





