








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Wingman | 55 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2326 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,730 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2330 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1802 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3118 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2480 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $627,776 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 113 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WhyShaeHoe | 52% | 21 |
| #2 | Recon. | 51% | 94 |
| #3 | Hakan Sekuur | 51% | 177 |
| #4 | EXPLODE | 50% | 325 |
| #5 | jidi | 49% | 177 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Hakan Sekuur | 51% | 177 |
| #4 | EXPLODE | 50% | 325 |
| #5 | jidi | 49% | 177 |
| #6 | teun1s | 47% | 17 |
| #7 | plierp | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EXPLODE | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Hakan Sekuur | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | jidi | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Recon. | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | WhyShaeHoe | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EXPLODE | 912 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #2 | jidi | 547 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #3 | Recon. | 286 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | Hakan Sekuur | 198 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | teun1s | 50 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EXPLODE | +2.74 | 80 | 63 |
| #2 | teun1s | +1.37 | 74 | 68 |
| #3 | Recon. | +0.82 | 63 | 64 |
| #4 | jidi | +0.28 | 68 | 72 |
| #5 | Hakan Sekuur | -0.45 | 71 | 61 |





