








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 371 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 241 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2941 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,097 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2575 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1701 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2907 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1914 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,017,793 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 625 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jidi | 54% | 35 |
| #2 | SpilledTea | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | ROALTY | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | EXPLODE | 51% | 43 |
| #5 | Hakan Sekuur | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jidi | 54% | 35 |
| #2 | SpilledTea | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | ROALTY | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | EXPLODE | 51% | 43 |
| #5 | Hakan Sekuur | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpilledTea | 4 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | EXPLODE | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EXPLODE | 140 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | jidi | 115 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | ROALTY | 46 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Hakan Sekuur | 19 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | SpilledTea | 19 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EXPLODE | +2.70 | 85 | 63 |
| #2 | WhyShaeHoe | +0.36 | 53 | 58 |
| #3 | jidi | -0.42 | 67 | 69 |
| #4 | ROALTY | -0.56 | 63 | 52 |
| #5 | Hakan Sekuur | -1.80 | 73 | 57 |





