








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
267 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 890 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 48 | 5% |
| Smokes | 296 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 364 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 182 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $294,250 of utility $290 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lame | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | EXPLODE | 43% | 49 |
| #3 | ROALTY | 41% | 32 |
| #4 | Hakan Sekuur | 39% | 28 |
| #5 | jidi | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | EXPLODE | 43% | 49 |
| #3 | ROALTY | 41% | 32 |
| #4 | Hakan Sekuur | 39% | 28 |
| #5 | jidi | 39% | 18 |
| #6 | Recon. | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lame | 2 | 0.0294 |
| #2 | EXPLODE | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | ROALTY | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EXPLODE | 141 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | jidi | 67 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | ROALTY | 66 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Hakan Sekuur | 27 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Recon. | 9 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EXPLODE | +4.61 | 82 | 62 |
| #2 | Lame | +2.04 | 66 | 65 |
| #3 | Recon. | +1.39 | 72 | 70 |
| #4 | jidi | +0.12 | 67 | 69 |
| #5 | Hakan Sekuur | -0.87 | 66 | 59 |





